Trials

I have often times thought to myself "why Me?"

Why have I had to endure so many health challenges throughout my life?

I won't ever know the reason, but I am trying to stay positive.

I haven't really had a moment where I wasn't struggling with chronic pain, surgery, recovery, etc.

My current battle is of many, Liver, Thyorid (Hashimotos) and now my heart.

I have to admit I am scared.

I keep having dizzy spells, heart palpations.

Today (Saturday) is no different. My heart is freaking out. It can't decide whether or not to beat fast, beat slow or beat hard. Either way, it's making me so exhausted and I haven't done anything! My cardiologist appointment is this coming Friday. I wished that today was a day that I had a heart monitor because they would see a party is going on with my heart. I am sure it's nothing major, but this time has me a bit scared. I haven't really been scared of any of my health situations, just frustration. I don't know why this is any different, but it has me on edge. I am trying to stay positive and pray its nothing that will warrant 'heart surgery' but its definitely in the back of my mind.

I have no idea what they will find out, but praying that its a simple fix.
But the truth is, I'm scared.

I'm trying to stay as positive as I can and making the time to take a deep breathe...because that is all I can do right now..